Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Ticket Shmicket

Sirens and blue lights flashing. You look in your rear-view mirror and see this.


You immediately think of what you were doing wrong. Speeding? Swerving? Ran a red light? And if you're a girl, more importantly than any of that, you look in your rear-view mirror to check your makeup.

Talking your way out of a ticket is an art form for women. And there's a few different ways to go about it.

Batting your eyelashes, opening your top button and propping up the girls is essential for when a male cop walks over. Not only might it get you a warning or completely out of a ticket, but if its a hot young cop that asks you for your license and registration, it might get you a date. Or at least a quickie in the back of a cop car (Admit it. It's on everyone's bucket list.)

No one likes to see a girl cry. Makeup runs, there's sobbing involved and sometimes even snots. It's usually either unattractive or heartbreaking to watch a girl cry. So when a cop tries to stick you with a $300 speeding ticket, let the tears flow and make up any excuse you possibly can as to why you're speeding and crying. Going to visit your dog in the hospital, just broke up with your boyfriend, late for work and scared you'll get fired. It doesn't really matter what the excuse is because the crying will usually work its way to the heart of the cop or atleast make him so awkward that he doesn't know how to give you the ticket.

Female problems
Speaking of awkward, nothing scares a guy more than speaking about "that time of month." If you mention something about female problems, a male cop with be so embarrassed, awkward and grossed out that he will usually let you go just so you stop talking about it. I have to say this one's pretty low, but you definitely don't have a spare couple hundred dollars lying around for that ticket.
Dropping names
If all else fails, it doesn't hurt to drop a few names. Hopefully you know someone in blue, but if you don't it's a good idea to do some research before you go 90 in a 65. Get to know some names of officers or captains at your town's police station. Even if you don't know them personally, dropping a name and saying their your friend or you went to school with them might help. Chances are the cop that stops you is too busy to find the person you mentioned and tell them he stopped you, but chances are they won't want to give a fellow cop's friend a ticket. Plus, even if they eventually figure out you lied, you're probably a few towns over doing 90 in a 65 again.


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