Tuesday, April 23, 2013

50 Shades of Grey

It's been almost 2 years since the graphic novel, Fifty Shades of Grey, was published.
It's been about a year since women all over the world were dreaming about entering millionaire Christian Grey's red room of pain.

In light of rumors flying everywhere about who will be cast for what roles in this highly anticipated movie, I've decided to share my views of this "sexy" book. The latest rumor is that Allison Williams of HBO's Girls will play Anastasia Steele.

Why did this graphic novel about S&M sex become so popular, selling over 70 million copies and surpassing Harry Potter as the fastest-selling paperback of all time? And is it as good as the 50-year-old school teachers who try to hide the cover on the bus to work in the morning say it is?

Women love this book because they want it hot, rough and rich. Christian Grey is not only ridiculously good looking, but he's rich as fuck. He flies helicopters everywhere, has multiple houses, and is just a rich motherfucker. If women reading this aren't getting off on the red room sex, then they're definitely pleasuring themselves to the massive amounts of money and stuff that Christian showers on Ana. Then there's the "mind-blowing" rough sado-masochism sex. Say what you want about this degrading women, but it's fucking hot and every female secretly wonders what it would be like. If women weren't curious, this wouldn't be the fastest-selling paperback of all time. Being tied up, whipped, gagged and flogged is sexy.

When I first started reading this book I was hooked. I couldn't stop reading, especially when it came to descriptions of Christian caressing Ana and her orgasming. Like most women at the time, there may or may not have been a few nights where I curled up with a large glass of wine and Christian Grey was my date for the night. Halfway through the book, the plot turned absolutely absurd right about the same time where if E. L. James described Ana's tits or Christians penis one more time I was gonna puke. The absurd plot kept me hooked though because I just wanted to find out what happening to these god damned characters, for fucks sake. Now I was flipping through the sex scenes just to see where this twisted plot of psycho cougar exes, stalkers and murders would go.

Two sequels later, the bitch ends up married with 2 kids. And a red room in the garage - kind of a "there's a time and place for that, but we haven't completely lost it." Happily ever fucking after.


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