579 pages. Countless memorable quotes. Funny stories. Heartfelt tales. And scary tear-jerking accounts.
Porn star Jenna Jameson's autobiography, "How To Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale," is not what you would expect. Well, it is because it gives the dirty details of her raunchy times in front of the camera, but it is actually so much more than that. This book is almost as thick as the bible and, despite the nearly 100 pages of pictures, it's actually a great read.
You wouldn't think this from seeing the cover, but seriously, when I started reading this book I couldn't put it down because it was interesting, sad, scary and funny.
Photo courtesy of Wikipedia.com
The book tells of her childhood, how she got into porn, her drug addiction and finding her current husband. And she must either be a secret English major gifted with words or she had an amazing ghost writer because it is beautifully written and thoughtful.
One of my favorite quotes ever comes from this book and I often show people the quote on my phone and ask them who they think the author is. I've gotten responses ranging from Shakespeare and Wordsworth to The Beatles and The Backstreet Boys.
"Love is not an intellectual decision. You can't look for it or hold on to it or run away from it. It comes and goes according to its own wild inclination, completely out of our control. All we can do is recognize it when we feel it, and try to enjoy it while it lasts - be it for a say or a lifetime."
And just so you don't think this is just a sappy love story made up by a porn star, of course there's quotes like this is the infamous Jenna Jameson autobiography.
"Anal sex. Anal fucking sex. Brown-hole-spelunking rusty-can-expanding colon-tickling anal fucking sex."
Because what would a porn star's autobiography be without a little raunch and detail.
I'm not going to get into the plot because I wouldn't want to ruin the surprise for you or shock you with X-rated stories, but give this book a try. Even if you don't like Jenna Jameson, read this book because it's worth it.
CHATTY KATHY
It's been almost 2 years since the graphic novel, Fifty Shades of Grey, was published.
It's been about a year since women all over the world were dreaming about entering millionaire Christian Grey's red room of pain.
In light of rumors flying everywhere about who will be cast for what roles in this highly anticipated movie, I've decided to share my views of this "sexy" book. The latest rumor is that Allison Williams of HBO's Girls will play Anastasia Steele.
Why did this graphic novel about S&M sex become so popular, selling over 70 million copies and surpassing Harry Potter as the fastest-selling paperback of all time? And is it as good as the 50-year-old school teachers who try to hide the cover on the bus to work in the morning say it is?
Women love this book because they want it hot, rough and rich. Christian Grey is not only ridiculously good looking, but he's rich as fuck. He flies helicopters everywhere, has multiple houses, and is just a rich motherfucker. If women reading this aren't getting off on the red room sex, then they're definitely pleasuring themselves to the massive amounts of money and stuff that Christian showers on Ana. Then there's the "mind-blowing" rough sado-masochism sex. Say what you want about this degrading women, but it's fucking hot and every female secretly wonders what it would be like. If women weren't curious, this wouldn't be the fastest-selling paperback of all time. Being tied up, whipped, gagged and flogged is sexy.
When I first started reading this book I was hooked. I couldn't stop reading, especially when it came to descriptions of Christian caressing Ana and her orgasming. Like most women at the time, there may or may not have been a few nights where I curled up with a large glass of wine and Christian Grey was my date for the night. Halfway through the book, the plot turned absolutely absurd right about the same time where if E. L. James described Ana's tits or Christians penis one more time I was gonna puke. The absurd plot kept me hooked though because I just wanted to find out what happening to these god damned characters, for fucks sake. Now I was flipping through the sex scenes just to see where this twisted plot of psycho cougar exes, stalkers and murders would go.
Two sequels later, the bitch ends up married with 2 kids. And a red room in the garage - kind of a "there's a time and place for that, but we haven't completely lost it." Happily ever fucking after.
CHATTY KATHY
