Chatty Kathy: Girls Vs. Sports

A Girl's guide to drinking it through back-to-back sporting events. Basically a "what not to do"

So, This weekend was the national holiday everyone's been waiting for all year: my birthday. My friends got me tickets to the afternoon Bruins game, and by a sick twist of fate, the Red Sox game we were supposed to go to earlier in the week got rescheduled to the same night as the Bruins game. That's a long day of drinking and a quick, hilarious wardrobe change in a parked car to make it through. I attempted to document my day and its hilarity, but by the 5th consecutive hour of drinking in between the games, things like staying awake and even knowing my own name were a struggle, not to mention whipping out my phone to record things. So I'm not gonna lie, a lot of the Red Sox game isn't here, but cut me some slack guys, I was drunk and it was my birthday. Perfect excuse. So enjoy watching my friends make fools of themselves and hearing my annoying voice say, "What are you doing!?" a million times.

[Note: Huge shout out to my web guy, Anthony, for helping me with this shit.]

CHATTY KATHY

Harpoonfest Flop

What could possibly get this girl out of bed before 3 p.m. on a Saturday afternoon? The promise of a beer-filled day-drinking event at a brewery where the more free beer paraphanelia they give you, the more questionable your judgement gets. Top that off with a 1 p.m. Bruins game, and you've got me sold.

The promise of this bad-decision-but-good-story-making day filled me with excitement as I poured Bailey's and vodka into my signature large Dunkies iced coffee and hit the ground running. After celebrating the bruins win and bad-ass fights with a shot, we hit the road to Harpoonfest. Pulling up to the Seaport District, you could smell beer from a mile away and hear rowdy frat boys chanting nonsense in the long, twisting line down the pier. This day seemed like a dream come true as we casually cut a hundred people line to where a few of our friends were standing.

Starring through the chainlinked fence at the lucky people inside laughing and getting drunk was exhilarating. Shortly, we would be in there having the time of our lives. But as time ticked on, the sun went down and the line barely moved, the drunk shrieking and chanting from inside the gates were just torture. After nearly two hours waiting in line and still about 500 people back (with good word from the bouncers that they were at capacity and doing the whole "one out, one in" thing), we decided to cut our losses and go to a bar closeby. But when we got there, it was so packed that you could physically move let alone get to the bar to order a drink.

My buzz was starting to wear off and it was starting to get late. and when I say late, I mean late for day-drinking, but in the real world it was actually really early to start drinking, around 6 p.m. So instead of having an epic pre-St. Patty's Day-drinking event at Harpoonfest, we ended up at two of our usual hangouts in Fanuel Hall. Harpoonfest Flop. Next time, I'm getting in line at 8 a.m.

CHATTY KATHY